While I was researching Crop Circles I stumbled across a number of sites on alien abductions. I was stunned at the amount of people out there who claim that they are victims of abduction.

I have to admit my scepticism here, although I firmly believe that there is a high mathematical probability that among the trillions of stars in the billions of galaxies there are millions of planets with similar conditions to our own planet (proximity to a sun similar to ours etc). The chances seem very good that on some of those planets life may have evolved. Perhaps not in the same way it has done here on Earth, but life none-the-less. But the idea of crafts of any type (alien or not) getting through undetected still seem a little far fetched for me. Some of the satellites watching us from above are able to zoom in far enough to read number plates on cars (supposedly) so, a space ship coming in and abducting people just doesn’t seem possible. (I fully admit I could be wrong, who knows what technology is out there, but still….)

But reading through some of the so-called “testimonies” you start to develop a picture of what these “victims” are actually about.

I have been abducted by aliens many, many times! Sometimes they probed me when I didn’t want to be probed! Finally I had to wear my purple hat all the time, and now I am running out of tin foil!

All abduction stories are usually unearthed (no pun intended) along similar plot lines. There is a period of amnesia following the alleged abduction. Then there is usually a session of hypnosis, counselling or psychotherapy during which comes the recollection of having been abducted and experimented on. The only variation in the abductees? stories is that some claim to have had implants put in them and many claim to have scars and marks on their bodies put there by aliens.

The abduction stories themselves share a few of the common threads as well according to Susan Blackmore and Marcus Cox from the Department of Psychology at the University of West of England

Most experiences begin in bed at night; more rarely from a car or outdoors. The abductee experiences an intense blue or white light, a buzzing or humming sound, anxiety and the sense of an unexplained presence. He or she is then transported or “floated” into a craft and may be restrained or paralysed and subjected to examinations, medical procedures, or the implantation of a small object in the nose or elsewhere. The aliens are typically grey, about four feet high, with a large head and black almond shaped eyes, though other aliens are occasionally reported. The aliens? purpose in abducting people varies from benign warnings of impending ecological catastrophe to a vast alien breeding program.

Now, many of you may be thinking “bloody Americans. They’re all loony over there!” I should point out that there are a number of cases of abductions taking place right here in Australia.

1974 CANBERRA, Australian Capital Territory.
Two young women felt compelled to get into their car which then allegedly drove itself to a certain spot. They were escorted by a brilliant white light source. Vague human shapes were seen as well as strange noises heard. There was an episode of “missing time” involved.

1979 MELBOURNE, Victoria.
A man named Mark retired to bed one night at about 11 p.m. Shortly after closing his eyes he lost all sense of sound and feeling and he found himself travelling in a tunnel through space. Looking forwards he noted a light at the end of the tunnel. His next awareness was of lying on a table in a “craft”. He was medically examined by 3 beings, after which he panicked and then awoke in his own bed.

Prof Elizabeth Loftus, from the Department of Psychology and Social Behaviour at the University of California, is of the opinion that alien abduction stories might be preferable to “recovered memories” of abuse.

Whatever need this is filling, it might be better to do it with alien abduction memories instead of ‘Daddy did it and so did Uncle and Grandpa.’ At least fewer families will be destroyed in the process.

A/Prof Leonard Newman, from the Psychology Department at the University of Illinois thinks the stories may be more related to masochistic fantasies

The motivational roots lie in the desire to escape from ordinary self-awareness, and this explanation is supported by parallels between UFO abduction accounts and masochistic fantasies

It’s not only masochistic fantasies that get a work out with these aliens, though. It’s reported that in 1957 a 23 year old Brazilian man named Antonio Villas Boas was abducted and taken up into a space craft and got to shag a pretty little alien lass.

His clothing was removed and some kind of liquid was applied to his entire body. He was then led into another room where there appeared to an examining table. Now in walks a completely naked woman with hair so blonde it was almost white. She had elongated blue eyes and very pale skin with a concentration of freckles on her arms. She had high cheekbones, normal nose and a mouth with thin, almost non-existent lips, and a very pointed chin. Her underarm and pubic hair was almost blood red. She had the most beautiful body that Boas had ever seen. She didn’t speak, but through body language she let it be known that she was going to have her way with him, he did not seem unwilling.

Dr Michael Persinger has a theory that many mystical experiences, psychic experiences and paranormal beliefs are associated with unstable temporal lobes, or high “temporal lobe lability” but he adds

The research is not to demean anyone’s religious/mystical experience but instead to determine which portions of the brain or its electromagnetic patterns generate the experience. Two thousand years of philosophy have taught us that attempting to prove or disprove realities may never have discrete verbal (linguistic) solutions because of the limitation of this measurement

It’s a well known fact that imagined experience can be just as real as an actual experience. A friend of mine had a dream once where she had a fight with her partner. The next day she was still upset with him and the poor sod didn’t know what he did wrong. She knew it was only a dream, but that didn’t change the way it effected her. Her brain told her it was real and so part of her thought it was. Perhaps the same goes for alien abductions as well.

If I’m wrong and alien abductions are real. You may need to get yourself one of these

The Alien Abduction Kit:
In case of alien abduction these dog tags may save your life. The crucial data an alien will need to get you back to Earth is die stamped into these dog tags.